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Tom Cruise Sues over Unauthorized Use of Image on Butt Plug

Trey Guccione, CEO of Holesome Fun, responded angrily to Mr. Cruise’ lawsuit.

“Like I’m sure Tom’s never been shitfaced before,” said Mr. Guccione. “He can take his lawsuit, hold it sideways, and stick it where the sun don’t shine.”

The device at the bottom of this controversy is a 3-inch silicone statuette designed to be inserted into the anus and rectum for sexual pleasure. A butt plug can be inserted during sex or it can be worn while its user is gardening, shopping, or attending the theater.

Butt plugs, which can be worn by men or women, gay or straight, were invented in Greece about 350 BCE. Since then butt plugs have been worn by historical figures (Alexander the Great, Hannibal, and Julius Caesar), musicians (Tchaikovsky, Boy George, and Mick Jagger), and opinion shapers (Gertrude Stein, Barney Frank, and Matt Drudge).